I’ve been learning math. The books are cheap and the reasons are greater. I realized everyone could queue up to whatever I had made and improve on it, and I couldn’t see the end. It’s unfortunate that I have to divide my time between theory and application, in the sense that I am between being late and being behind. My one consolation is being in a place frozen in a kind of stasis, a world in lag, catching up only as events dictate.
I started programming initially with the hope of having a mentor. It would have been nice to have direction. Now that compass is mine, because I did not recognize it earlier: to build one’s network, to cultivate positive experiences with all, to not be so ideologically centered.
Those are my sins and I will own them. In ten years, perhaps I will have grown up a little.